Mark

I was thinking about this issue that occurred a few years ago when reading another thread about children being safe on the streets. This exact situation happened and the way I reacted is listed below.

I was having lunch one day at an Arby's and there was a man (possibly in his early 40's) sitting behind me along with a young girl (12-14). Their discussion was mostly about how her life was rough and her parents don't understand her. I was not trying to listen in but they were not hiding anything as they were talking in a regular voice. In the short time I was there, I got the impression that this man was not the girls father or even her uncle based on the conversation. He didn't know much of anything about her and she continued to spill her life story to him as if they had just met. They were there from the time I sat down to well after I had left.

The problem I had with this situation was that it freaked me out that the girl was possibly meeting up with some guy she chatted with online. They just did not seem to know each other at all based on what was being discussed. He continued to tell her the good things about her life like how she has two parents that probably care for her and that she shouldn't feel so alone (he was building her confidence and possibly her trust in him).

By the time I left the restaurant, I was shaking as I thought for sure that something about this was not right. When I got to my car I called the police to let them know what was going on. I could still see them sitting in the restaurant and they were in no rush to leave. The police said they would respond and I went back to work. I should have stuck around to see if they did actually arrive but later in the day I called the police back to see if I was overreacting. All that they told me is they looked into the situation. They would not say if I overreacted or if my concerns were valid. I still feel that what I did was right even if the police showed up and questioned them only to find nothing wrong. Based on this information, how would you have reacted?

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Dadu2004

Initiall, I would have thought it was a counselor. My step-dad and mom are counselors and in my step-dad's area it's not uncommon for him to take a client to lunch or somewhere outside of the office to talk. I'm not sure what kind of context clues you picked up on to make you think they met over the internet, but that's about all you could've done. I personally would've been extremely sure that they met over the internet before I called the police. So, if you were quite sure, then I'd say you did the right thing. If it was just a hunch or a guess then I probably wouldn't have.

Teresa

I think you did the right thing, Mark. In this day and age, better to be safe than sorry. If there was no problem, and they had a legitimate reason for being there together, then no harm done. If it was a risky meeting, then you may have prevented something horrible from happening.

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hayky3126

I would have been very urged to call the police too mark! Sometimes certain people are in certain places at a certain time because that person could possibly save another persons life, where as if somebody else had gone there and not been so intrigued on finding out what was going on, then it could have been a worse situation and you would have seen her face on the news that she had been a victim of murder... Life is too chaotic not to worry!! Somebody at work told me the other day, if we dont look out for each other who will?? I think you did the right thing Mark!!

Neal

Mark, I can understand how you feel. In another thread I commented I was concerned that a 11-12 year old girl that was riding the metro bus alone each day after school. This gives rise for the opportunity of strangers to introduce themselves or worse. The bad guys do look for kids that are isolated in some ways.

The way I look it at is that 98% of all kids grow up never get hit by lightening or other bad things, but those that do get harmed is because they were allowed to be doing something put that in that that 2% category. If you don't let your kids play in rain during a lighting storm, the chances of them getting hit drop to near 0%. Now, there are the extremely rare cases when parents do everything right, and bad things still happen, you can't control being at the wrong places are the wrong time such as when when a airplane falls from the sky and hits your house; odds of that ever happening is millions to 1, yet it happens a few times a each year. In the case of the 11-12 year old girl riding the metro bus each day, chances are pretty low that anything bad will ever happen. She could ride the bus for next several years and nothing bad would ever happen. In my mind, the parents are letting her be outside during a lightening storm (so-to-speak); chances of getting hit are remote, but if one day a bad guy would notice that this girl is riding the metro bus alone each day, he'd consider her as a possible target because she is within that 2% pool of kids that are in dangerous territory.

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Kaytee

I agree, if that was my daughter and she had met up with someone she met on line, I would be so grateful that someone call the cops

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jenilouise

If I was the girls mom I would be grateful as well. Basically if they weren't doing anything they shouldn't the police would figure that out pretty quick.

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Mark

There was nothing they said that shouted out that they met over the Internet. Even though they were freely talking, I would have been shocked to hear that. For the first 10 minutes or so I didn't think much of it. I then paid a little closer attention and could hear how they did not appear to know each other. There was nothing said that made me think he was a counselor although I thought about that as well as that he could have possibly been her pastor. I still thought that he should have known her more and not been sounding like he was just introducing himself to her.

I was not sure what to do to be honest. I thought about talking to the manager but that might have gotten his attention. Instead I went to my car and before calling the police I thought what if this guy is not bad and he is fine? Would I be causing him problems by having the police show up and question him? Then I thought what if I see the news that night and a girl disappeared in that area and they showed her picture? That's all I needed to think about to make that call to the police. I figured if there was nothing wrong the guy might be ticked off at being inconvenienced but the girl would be safe. When I got back to work I though that I should have stuck around. Calling the police back later that day was my way of seeing if I made a mistake or not. Too bad they wouldn't at least tell me if the call was a good move or not.

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Neal

I agree. Such as the guy is simply a trusted long time friend of the family and he is just being sound board for the girl.

Hard to say if a guy who trying to befriend\seduce an underage girl would be so open about it where others could over hear. Yet, talking with a girl is no crime even if they met over the Internet and her parents don't know about him. If the police did ask a few friendly questions, it does put the guy on notice and the police likely to get his name off his drivers license. If he was planning something unlawful, no doubt he'll think long and hard about it after the police asked him as to the nature of their relationship.

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jenilouise

Yep my point exactly. And I was thinking how only one of my children (Isabella) looks like only one of my brothers (GLen- the baby). Basically if one of her uncles took her out they could face something similar. My brothers would have no problem clearing up the misconception. I think they'd rather be questioned than have some other girl be unsafe.

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