People are Strange - Page 3

Mango · 01-29-2009, 06:21 AM

Totally hear you Mark. I mean if you really want to give a kid something, how hard is it to ask the parent quietly first?

RaisingHavoc · 01-29-2009, 01:18 PM

Mango from what I've seen they do ask politely while holding out whatever treat so you and the child can see it. So once your kid sees it you become the heavy by saying no thank you. I try to ask with out showing the treat or show it on the down low. lol

Xero · 01-29-2009, 04:58 PM

Yeah, I even do that with relatives' and friends' kids, if I have something for them, food or toy, I'll sneak-ask without the kids seeing to make sure first, so if the answer is no there wont be any tears lol.

It's really crazy how people can be so hair brained haha.

jenilouise · 01-29-2009, 11:24 PM

Yeah I ask without whipping the treat into view. I mean what if the kid is allergic to a treat. I asked a friend of mine if her son could have a candy and she had to check the label for nuts. I understand because my kids can't have anything milk based unless it's nonfat.

Xero · 01-30-2009, 12:57 PM

Yeah, exactly and my little brother is actually allergic to chocolate so imagine the crap he goes through with people offering him stuff. At school, at birthday parties, at friends houses, even family that doesn't always remember. Chocolate is such a popular thing to give to kids, and popular in general. Cookies, brownies, candy bars, m&m's, hot chocolate, chocolate milk, cakes, certain desserts, a lot of stuff!! It happens a lot that people ask him before asking my mom or makes it obvious like that and what kid wouldn't want chocolate? So my mom tries to make sure he has his own special treat if there's chocolate around for the other kids and whatnot.

This conversation reminds me of when I was younger, my mom took us to this one church. It was a pretty nice place, actually. We were there a couple years. I was probably between 15 and 17 then. My sisters were younger, but we were usually together. Anyway there was this guy who was really really old and he walked around on a cane and he was just the sweetest most gentle-hearted guy I ever met. He lived alone, and he was a very lonely guy. His wife died a long time ago and he didn't have kids (or they were out of the picture, guess I didn't really know) and he had a lot of money and lived in this giant house all by himself, and he always wore a suit to church. He looked sad, but not. You know? Well anyway it seemed like it made him really really happy to give kids candy, and we always somehow ended up over by him, saying hi. He always handed my sisters and I one piece of candy (lol we were like teenagers and preteens but I don't think that processed when he was doing it) and he'd pretend like he was sneaking it so it was extra special and he'd get this big smile on his face and wink at us. We'd always thank him like it was this huge deal and lol sometimes if it was chocolate it'd be all melted from his pocket. Thinking back on it, that particular situation was kind of cute and I think it was one of the only things he got to do every Sunday that made him feel special and I'm glad our mom let us take it. We were older though and half the time didn't eat it, but taking it was the good part.

But we stopped going after a couple of years and my Aunt stayed there and one day I was with her and he came up from the very back of my mind and I asked "Hey do you remember that guy that gave us candy all the time? That really nice old guy? Sam?" And she looked kind of disappointed and nodded and said "Yeah, he passed away a while ago honey. He was a very good person, wasn't he?" I don't know why, but I felt like crying. And I just hoped he wasn't lonely when he went. All he did was give me a piece of candy every Sunday and wink, but I'll remember him forever. But sometimes I think it's not so bad to let an old person have that special feeling they get from giving a kid a piece of soggy candy out of their pocket.

jenilouise · 01-30-2009, 10:22 PM

That is such a sweet story! You probably gave him a little happiness at his age which is so important. I worked at a nursing home and about once a week I'd bring my kids in and they'd make the residents so happy just with asking questions and listening to stories.

Yeah it is tough with my kids too. Milkfat being the allergy means I have to read every label and ask what people cooked with. It sounds crazy but with the exception of Josephine my kids will get really really sick and so will I.

Xero · 01-31-2009, 11:03 PM

That's a tough one!! Man you'd have to be so careful. I'd go nuts haha. I'm not allergic to any food that I know of, but I am lactose sensitive. Like, if I drank a large milkshake all at once I'd get sick to my stomach.

Yeah, I think elderly people are happy to see kids. We'll understand someday I guess. Kids really bring the light in to a dark room, you know?

jenilouise · 02-01-2009, 06:51 PM

Yeah they certainly do. Think of how our grandparents feel when little kids are around.

EHB · 02-11-2009, 05:48 AM

I think everyone has probably experienced this and what it taught me was to teach my children to be more respectful. My eight year-old is obsessed with babies. She knows that she is not allowed to touch anyone's babies. She also knows that if the parent allows it, she is only allowed to gently touch the baby on the leg or upper arm, because a baby can't put that in it's mouth. NEVER on the head (that makes me quite mad as so many people thought it was okay to touch my babies' heads).

It seems to me that for many, there is no "personal space" when it comes to babies. Sigh.

Fallon · 02-11-2009, 09:31 AM

It seems to me that for many, there is no "personal space" when it comes to babies.

so true...I have a rule that you must wash your hands before touching my babies. My husbands family thinks I'm being rude but I could care less...lol My daughter was born with an immune disorder (she out grew it by 2) so we don't take any chances here, plus I think it's just polite to wash your hands before handling a new baby

01-29-2009, 06:21 AM	#21
Mango NowParenting Addict Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Western Quebec, Canada Age: 28 Posts: 1,109 Rep Power: 20 Reputation: 247 Children None yet :)	Totally hear you Mark. I mean if you really want to give a kid something, how hard is it to ask the parent quietly first? __________________ If parents snicker at racial and gender jokes, another generation will pass on the poison adults still have not had the courage to snuff out. -- Marian Wright Edelman

01-29-2009, 01:18 PM	#22
RaisingHavoc NowParenting Addict Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: The Woods, AZ Age: 35 Posts: 1,184 My Mood: Rep Power: 20 Reputation: 272 Children Havoc 3 DD 6	Mango from what I've seen they do ask politely while holding out whatever treat so you and the child can see it. So once your kid sees it you become the heavy by saying no thank you. I try to ask with out showing the treat or show it on the down low. lol __________________ Married since '05, DD age 6, Havoc 3 “You don't really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around - and why his parents will always wave back.” -William D. Tammeus

01-29-2009, 04:58 PM	#23
Xero NowParenting Addict Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Erie, PA Age: 22 Posts: 1,037 My Mood: Rep Power: 17 Reputation: 148 Children Eli, 18 months old.	Yeah, I even do that with relatives' and friends' kids, if I have something for them, food or toy, I'll sneak-ask without the kids seeing to make sure first, so if the answer is no there wont be any tears lol. It's really crazy how people can be so hair brained haha. __________________

01-29-2009, 11:24 PM	#24
jenilouise 4 1/2 feet of fury! Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Oregon Age: 30 Posts: 5,979 My Mood: Rep Power: 70 Reputation: 287 Children Isabella (11), Josephine (10), Hannah (8), Natalia (2), and Sophia (infant)	Yeah I ask without whipping the treat into view. I mean what if the kid is allergic to a treat. I asked a friend of mine if her son could have a candy and she had to check the label for nuts. I understand because my kids can't have anything milk based unless it's nonfat. __________________

01-30-2009, 12:57 PM	#25
Xero NowParenting Addict Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Erie, PA Age: 22 Posts: 1,037 My Mood: Rep Power: 17 Reputation: 148 Children Eli, 18 months old.	Yeah, exactly and my little brother is actually allergic to chocolate so imagine the crap he goes through with people offering him stuff. At school, at birthday parties, at friends houses, even family that doesn't always remember. Chocolate is such a popular thing to give to kids, and popular in general. Cookies, brownies, candy bars, m&m's, hot chocolate, chocolate milk, cakes, certain desserts, a lot of stuff!! It happens a lot that people ask him before asking my mom or makes it obvious like that and what kid wouldn't want chocolate? So my mom tries to make sure he has his own special treat if there's chocolate around for the other kids and whatnot. This conversation reminds me of when I was younger, my mom took us to this one church. It was a pretty nice place, actually. We were there a couple years. I was probably between 15 and 17 then. My sisters were younger, but we were usually together. Anyway there was this guy who was really really old and he walked around on a cane and he was just the sweetest most gentle-hearted guy I ever met. He lived alone, and he was a very lonely guy. His wife died a long time ago and he didn't have kids (or they were out of the picture, guess I didn't really know) and he had a lot of money and lived in this giant house all by himself, and he always wore a suit to church. He looked sad, but not. You know? Well anyway it seemed like it made him really really happy to give kids candy, and we always somehow ended up over by him, saying hi. He always handed my sisters and I one piece of candy (lol we were like teenagers and preteens but I don't think that processed when he was doing it) and he'd pretend like he was sneaking it so it was extra special and he'd get this big smile on his face and wink at us. We'd always thank him like it was this huge deal and lol sometimes if it was chocolate it'd be all melted from his pocket. Thinking back on it, that particular situation was kind of cute and I think it was one of the only things he got to do every Sunday that made him feel special and I'm glad our mom let us take it. We were older though and half the time didn't eat it, but taking it was the good part. But we stopped going after a couple of years and my Aunt stayed there and one day I was with her and he came up from the very back of my mind and I asked "Hey do you remember that guy that gave us candy all the time? That really nice old guy? Sam?" And she looked kind of disappointed and nodded and said "Yeah, he passed away a while ago honey. He was a very good person, wasn't he?" I don't know why, but I felt like crying. And I just hoped he wasn't lonely when he went. All he did was give me a piece of candy every Sunday and wink, but I'll remember him forever. But sometimes I think it's not so bad to let an old person have that special feeling they get from giving a kid a piece of soggy candy out of their pocket. __________________ Last edited by Xero; 01-30-2009 at 01:00 PM.

01-30-2009, 10:22 PM	#26
jenilouise 4 1/2 feet of fury! Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Oregon Age: 30 Posts: 5,979 My Mood: Rep Power: 70 Reputation: 287 Children Isabella (11), Josephine (10), Hannah (8), Natalia (2), and Sophia (infant)	That is such a sweet story! You probably gave him a little happiness at his age which is so important. I worked at a nursing home and about once a week I'd bring my kids in and they'd make the residents so happy just with asking questions and listening to stories. Yeah it is tough with my kids too. Milkfat being the allergy means I have to read every label and ask what people cooked with. It sounds crazy but with the exception of Josephine my kids will get really really sick and so will I. __________________

01-31-2009, 11:03 PM	#27
Xero NowParenting Addict Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Erie, PA Age: 22 Posts: 1,037 My Mood: Rep Power: 17 Reputation: 148 Children Eli, 18 months old.	That's a tough one!! Man you'd have to be so careful. I'd go nuts haha. I'm not allergic to any food that I know of, but I am lactose sensitive. Like, if I drank a large milkshake all at once I'd get sick to my stomach. Yeah, I think elderly people are happy to see kids. We'll understand someday I guess. Kids really bring the light in to a dark room, you know? __________________

02-01-2009, 06:51 PM	#28
jenilouise 4 1/2 feet of fury! Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Oregon Age: 30 Posts: 5,979 My Mood: Rep Power: 70 Reputation: 287 Children Isabella (11), Josephine (10), Hannah (8), Natalia (2), and Sophia (infant)	Yeah they certainly do. Think of how our grandparents feel when little kids are around. __________________

02-11-2009, 05:48 AM	#29
EHB NowParenting Regular Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: New Jersey Posts: 50 My Mood: Rep Power: 9 Reputation: 65 Children Seven-His, Mine and Ours and we raised them all together!	I think everyone has probably experienced this and what it taught me was to teach my children to be more respectful. My eight year-old is obsessed with babies. She knows that she is not allowed to touch anyone's babies. She also knows that if the parent allows it, she is only allowed to gently touch the baby on the leg or upper arm, because a baby can't put that in it's mouth. NEVER on the head (that makes me quite mad as so many people thought it was okay to touch my babies' heads). It seems to me that for many, there is no "personal space" when it comes to babies. Sigh.

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