Parent-Child "best friend" relationships

Neal · 02-03-2010, 11:25 AM

Not sure how common, or healthy, it is for a parent and child to become "best friends". If you think it is common and\or healthy, then under what conditions are parent-child more-or-less equals? "Equal" in the sense that they consider each other peers and feel comfortable saying both good\bad things to each other without the concern about it causing a problem within their "friendship"?

RaisingHavoc · 02-03-2010, 11:38 AM

I am against parent child friendships in any sense that the two are equal. I say this for the range from birth till the birth of a grandchild or 25yrs old for the child. I'm comfortanble with a friendship after the child is an independent adult. Kids have lots of friends but only a set of parents. (more of less) Anyway parents are limited. In my limited experience you dont really have to be as respectful to your friends as you do your parent.

Kaytee · 02-03-2010, 01:25 PM

It depends I guess. Bot a young age for sure, but as an adult I hope I am good friends with my children. Maybe not bestfriends as that is not the right word, but I hope to be my child's friend. But My child's mother is first. Does that make sense?

jenilouise · 02-03-2010, 04:10 PM

I want my kids to be comfortable telling me anything as I am with my parents but I do want them to have their own friends.

RaisingHavoc · 02-03-2010, 06:14 PM

Originally Posted by jenilouise

I want my kids to be comfortable telling me anything as I am with my parents but I do want them to have their own friends.

I agree with this but I see it as different from being a friend to your child. Parental trust is very important. Your child should be able to trust that they can come to you with anything and meet understanding and love. As a friend you could just take the same side regardless is it right. Your teachers a jerk to you, well I'll take care of her. I dont know if I'm explaining that right. I see alot of friend parents on Worlds Strickest Parents. The kids act like monsters. There seems to be no division of power between the bratty kid and the passive parent. They seem like they are on the same level. The kid could be like... Hey dude lets go shopping...I need a new shirt for my date with that hot chick...to the parent.

Kaytee · 02-03-2010, 10:43 PM

yae, kids need parents. I think as they get older, due to respect they have gotten from the parent and in turn the child to the parent, the friendship wil form, but later in life not as kids

Neal · 02-04-2010, 07:09 PM

This subject came up when I was out having coffee with guy (Stroke victim at the age of 42, now 51) and he told he took his 18 year old to a strip club and paid to have his son get a lap dance.

I think in his mind, it was like buying his son his first beer, thus like being buddies rather than father-son.

I've personally never been to a strip club or any other such clubs that are only found on the shady part of town.

RaisingHavoc · 02-04-2010, 08:17 PM

lol "shady part of town" too funny. I can't say I agree with that situation either. Maybe the strip club is common place in their family so its no big thing. Like going to get a beer at 21 like you said. I dont know if I would like to witness my childs 21st b day experience. Pass.

Kaytee · 02-05-2010, 10:12 AM

lol yae don't want to see that!!!

I'm game with buying your child his or her first drink at 21. 18 in Texas, not that I would do it, unless it was a glass of wine at Olive Garden or something.

Mango · 02-06-2010, 06:53 AM

I think it's unhealthy until the kid is like 20ish, then I think it's awesome if they can be best friends...

02-03-2010, 11:25 AM	#1
Neal Leader Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 2,766 My Mood: Rep Power: 37 Reputation: 154	Parent-Child "best friend" relationships Not sure how common, or healthy, it is for a parent and child to become "best friends". If you think it is common and\or healthy, then under what conditions are parent-child more-or-less equals? "Equal" in the sense that they consider each other peers and feel comfortable saying both good\bad things to each other without the concern about it causing a problem within their "friendship"? __________________ NowParenting.com

02-03-2010, 11:38 AM	#2
RaisingHavoc NowParenting Addict Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: The Woods, AZ Age: 35 Posts: 1,184 My Mood: Rep Power: 20 Reputation: 272 Children Havoc 3 DD 6	I am against parent child friendships in any sense that the two are equal. I say this for the range from birth till the birth of a grandchild or 25yrs old for the child. I'm comfortanble with a friendship after the child is an independent adult. Kids have lots of friends but only a set of parents. (more of less) Anyway parents are limited. In my limited experience you dont really have to be as respectful to your friends as you do your parent. __________________ Married since '05, DD age 6, Havoc 3 “You don't really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around - and why his parents will always wave back.” -William D. Tammeus

02-03-2010, 01:25 PM	#3
Kaytee Leader Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 7,178 My Mood: Rep Power: 82 Reputation: 289 Children Nichole and Avery	It depends I guess. Bot a young age for sure, but as an adult I hope I am good friends with my children. Maybe not bestfriends as that is not the right word, but I hope to be my child's friend. But My child's mother is first. Does that make sense? __________________

02-03-2010, 04:10 PM	#4
jenilouise 4 1/2 feet of fury! Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Oregon Age: 30 Posts: 5,999 My Mood: Rep Power: 70 Reputation: 287 Children Isabella (11), Josephine (10), Hannah (8), Natalia (2), and Sophia (infant)	I want my kids to be comfortable telling me anything as I am with my parents but I do want them to have their own friends. __________________

02-03-2010, 10:43 PM	#6
Kaytee Leader Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 7,178 My Mood: Rep Power: 82 Reputation: 289 Children Nichole and Avery	yae, kids need parents. I think as they get older, due to respect they have gotten from the parent and in turn the child to the parent, the friendship wil form, but later in life not as kids __________________

02-04-2010, 07:09 PM	#7
Neal Leader Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 2,766 My Mood: Rep Power: 37 Reputation: 154	This subject came up when I was out having coffee with guy (Stroke victim at the age of 42, now 51) and he told he took his 18 year old to a strip club and paid to have his son get a lap dance. I think in his mind, it was like buying his son his first beer, thus like being buddies rather than father-son. I've personally never been to a strip club or any other such clubs that are only found on the shady part of town. __________________ NowParenting.com

02-04-2010, 08:17 PM	#8
RaisingHavoc NowParenting Addict Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: The Woods, AZ Age: 35 Posts: 1,184 My Mood: Rep Power: 20 Reputation: 272 Children Havoc 3 DD 6	lol "shady part of town" too funny. I can't say I agree with that situation either. Maybe the strip club is common place in their family so its no big thing. Like going to get a beer at 21 like you said. I dont know if I would like to witness my childs 21st b day experience. Pass. __________________ Married since '05, DD age 6, Havoc 3 “You don't really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around - and why his parents will always wave back.” -William D. Tammeus

02-05-2010, 10:12 AM	#9
Kaytee Leader Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 7,178 My Mood: Rep Power: 82 Reputation: 289 Children Nichole and Avery	lol yae don't want to see that!!! I'm game with buying your child his or her first drink at 21. 18 in Texas, not that I would do it, unless it was a glass of wine at Olive Garden or something. __________________

02-06-2010, 06:53 AM	#10
Mango NowParenting Addict Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Western Quebec, Canada Age: 28 Posts: 1,109 Rep Power: 20 Reputation: 247 Children None yet :)	I think it's unhealthy until the kid is like 20ish, then I think it's awesome if they can be best friends... __________________ If parents snicker at racial and gender jokes, another generation will pass on the poison adults still have not had the courage to snuff out. -- Marian Wright Edelman

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