Thread: Ben told his first real lie.

So Ben and Maddie were going out of town last weekend and they knew it so when Ben came home from school on Friday and Vic asked if he had new reading books he said no. Thts not too hard to believe since sometimes she (his teacher) gives them out on Mondays. So then today on the way to school he confessed that while driving home from school on Friday he hid them in the van.

He is supposed to go to Vics mom and dads to spend the night tonight. I suggested that we not allow him to go as punishment. Vic thinks tat we should just not let him watch tv tonight or tomorrow.

This is his first real lie. And granted nothing too bad happened because of it. He is however a couple of days behind on his reading because of it. I just want to knip this in the bud before fibbing becomes a habit.

Any suggestions?

PS I do give him credit for coming clean.

Thats huge that he came forward on his own. He probably felt so guilty for lieing. I agree there should be some kind of punishment and either that you listed seems appropriate. Do you guys have a book about lieing and the consiquences? Maybe a story about honest Abe. DD learned a bunch of stuff about Abe and George near Presidents Day and it made a big impact on her. Just a suggestion. Yeah to you guys for raising a good kid!!!

1) All kids do this, it is totally normal. Hannah has been doing it a lot lately. I try to look at the reason behind the lie. With Hannah, it is often laziness - Hannah, did you wash your hands with soap? Yes. Even when she didn't. Those types of lies I don't get too mad about as long as she does what she's told right after, because I don't want her to get away with being irresponsible, but I also don't want her to feel like she can't tell me the truth, you know?
Anyways, in our house, homework is the kid's responsibility. If she needs help doing it, we totally would help her in a heartbeat. But if she "forgets" to do it or whatever, that is on her. She will get consequences at school (stay in to recess to finish, etc). So if I was in your same situation, I would either let the teacher give consequences OR if the teacher doesn't/wont then I would say give him some extra homework on your own that cuts into his free time to complete.

Phil, I totally can't stand being lied to, so I know where you are coming from. I would most likely ground from something he likes, I don't know if I would take away the weekend trip. That's just me though. Because then you are punishing the grand parents too.

It's important to me that he learn to read so I am not gong to just let it be his responsibility. He has a learning disability and needs our help just to stay caught up with the other children. Part of this disability makes him extremely forgetful and easily distracted so he needs reminders from us.

Anyway I realize that all kids lie but I don't feel like any lie should go unpunished big or small. This one is small in my opinion and the punishment will be small. It would have been bigger had he not come clean. I don't believe in exoneration for coming clean but I do believe that owning up to your mistakes is important and I will take it easier on him but he's not going to get away with it.

He did what he did because he thought that we were going to make him study on his weekend away with my parents. We wouldn't have but he didn't know that.

I agree with Kim that the punishment needs to go with the crime. Since he did it to "hide" the homework from you so he wouldn't have to do it, I would send him with some extra stuff. Maybe a few books from home on top of the one from school. That he must read and answer questions to by either grandparents or you over the phone

what I would do is take his TV/video games/computer time for an entire week. I would let him go to the grandparents house though since this wasn't a huge lie. I would say to him "we are taking away this, this, this for a week...BUT since you did come clean I'm going to reward you by allowing you to go to grandma, and grandpa's tonight"
that's just me though...I don't go easy on lying, it's never OK.

Punishment? Take away the tv and games until he is caught up on his reading and is ahead in it.

YouTube - Eddie Izzard - Lies

I agree with taking away something but rewarding the coming clean by letting him still go to grandparents.

I do think he was very excited and that's why he lied. He didn't want it to ruin his weekend away. Since Ben doesn't make a habbit of lying, I'd say there should be consequences, but not too severe.

I would say that checking him from now one to make sure he doesn't have any reading (check his backpack and the van I guess lol) until he can proove to you that he's trustworthy enough to let you know that he has work to be done...

I personally wouldn't take anything away from him that didn't have anything to do with his reading... Unless there are things he spends hours on that are keeping him from doing his reading.